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How many 9-year olds could you beat up?

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Old 05-13-2011, 03:47 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default How many 9-year olds could you beat up?

Someone posted this youtube video on another thread (can't recall exactly where, but thanks dude) and posed an interesting question. How many 9-year olds could you beat up? Watch the video or read the "rules" at the end to get an idea of the exact scenario.

Clip:

I think I could beat up... 25 on a good day. I am being honest here.

It is hard to KO a kid in 10 seconds. You can land a nice punch on the first one or two, and then as you start getting a little tired you can grab them in a clinch (as... alluded to in the video) and bloody their little faces with a couple of knees. That might work for the first ten or so.

Eventually though, one will be scrappy or crafty enough to elude me for ten seconds, especially as I will be getting tired. Once that happens, you'll be facing multiple opponents and probably being a littlle more cautious, meaning that it is even more likely that more kids will start streaming in faster than you can knock them out.

Once there are ten or fifteen in at the same time, and given that there are no rules, eventually they'll be able to swarm you - maybe each one will grab a limb and start biting, with a choice kick or two to the jewels. Once you go down, you're done, as they'll just start kicking/stomping you, and you'll have to give up.

Rules from the video that I incorporated in the analysis:
1. You are in an octagon, with a 9-year old kid stepping in every ten seconds to fight you.
2. The 9-year olds are motivated to fight you (they will not just get in, start crying, and want to leave. You have to KO them for them to stop fighting.)
3. There are no rules. They (and you) can do whatever you want.
4. This was done without warning. If I knew this would be happening months in advance, I could get in shape and maybe extend the first phase, where you are just KOing the kids in ten seconds or less, before they build up. This analysis was done with my current (out-of-shape) self.

How many could you get through?





-Totally unrelated: If you watched the video, notice the hilarious mistake that the guy in the white shirt makes. In the first two minutes (120 seconds) he will face a total of 12 kids, not 120. Guess he took one too many hits to the face!
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Last edited by ExcaliburPrime1; 05-13-2011 at 03:50 AM. Reason: Forgot to add something. Did not want to double post.
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Old 05-13-2011, 04:15 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: How many 9-year olds could you beat up?

9 year olds? well it depends what kinda 9 year olds doesnt it lol. ive seen 9 year olds that are midgets and seen some that are my height.

on a bad day i could hurt alota 9 year olds lol, id just grab them as they ran in by the neck, throw them on the ground, and stomp on their faces till they stopped moving. that way i could last ages. i think your doubting yourself saying you would only last 25 kids, if i was in the killing mood i could definitly fuck tonnes of them up, but i cant be sure how many. im unfit so i would probably only last 10 minuts lol. but on the other hand im pretty sure if i went curb stomping 9 year olds them kids would be dying
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Old 05-13-2011, 04:24 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: How many 9-year olds could you beat up?

The video said that these are "average" 9-year olds. That said, given a large enough population of them walking in, you are bound to face some that are exceptionally small and some that are exceptionally big. That's just statistics.

I think you are overestimating the ease at which these kids would be put down. It will probably take you a couple of seconds just to run up to the kid, another couple of seconds to strike them down, and then a few more to take them out of commission. 10 seconds is probably enough, at least at first, but after you are through with a dozen, you will probably start slipping up, especially if one of them happens to be exceptionally big or fast.

And as soon as that happens, you are facing multiple opponents, and the chances of you getting rid of all of them in ten seconds becomes even less. Before long, you'll be overwhelmed. Anyway, that's what I think.

So, how many (guess) could you take on?
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We are being buried beneath an avalanche of your inadequacies! (High Chancellor Adam Sutler, V for Vendetta)

Some say the world will end in fire,
some say in ice.
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I hold with those who favor fire.
But if I had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate,
to say that for destruction ice
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and would suffice.
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Old 05-13-2011, 04:44 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: How many 9-year olds could you beat up?

Fight sort of fair? Like....100. On an average day.
Fight to survive? Like...9000
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Old 05-13-2011, 05:34 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: How many 9-year olds could you beat up?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ExcaliburPrime1 View Post
The video said that these are "average" 9-year olds. That said, given a large enough population of them walking in, you are bound to face some that are exceptionally small and some that are exceptionally big. That's just statistics.

I think you are overestimating the ease at which these kids would be put down. It will probably take you a couple of seconds just to run up to the kid, another couple of seconds to strike them down, and then a few more to take them out of commission. 10 seconds is probably enough, at least at first, but after you are through with a dozen, you will probably start slipping up, especially if one of them happens to be exceptionally big or fast.

And as soon as that happens, you are facing multiple opponents, and the chances of you getting rid of all of them in ten seconds becomes even less. Before long, you'll be overwhelmed. Anyway, that's what I think.

So, how many (guess) could you take on?
i can lift an "average 9 year old" with one hand and throw him down, if i stomped on a 9 year old kids face, hes outa commission, i cant kick for shit but i got a mean stomp. at 9 years old if you cop a stomp on your jaw from an 80kg dude whos used to this kinda shit, its probably going to break. just like if i hit a 9 year old with a decent body shot he is going to be outa commission.

and if i stand near the entrance i dont need to run up to him, i can just stand there and throw crosses as they walk into the cage. your average 9 year old is not going to be put down by virtually any type of strike from a fighter.
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Old 05-13-2011, 05:42 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: How many 9-year olds could you beat up?

What akosta said.


If you just stand near the door, your average 9 year old will go down pretty damn fast. Im 100% sure that I could break every single one of their faces with a knee.
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Old 05-13-2011, 05:44 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: How many 9-year olds could you beat up?

9000! That's what... 90,000 seconds = 1500 min = 25 hours. Impossible.

Even the 100 - I think people are either grossly overestimating their endurance or I am just incredibly out-of-shape.

I wonder how we could test this (without actually harming any kids.) Maybe it would be feasible to get a 90 lb bag (or small training dummy) in a room with mats. You have a timer that goes off every ten seconds. Between each beep, you have to kick/punch/knee strike the bag, then toss it a short distance. Rinse and repeat until you are unable to do that in time, and you might have a decent estimate.



Edit: Interesting point about just standing at the door as they are streaming in. That would make things considerably easier. Still, to make it more interesting, let us say that the octagon opens up from a random edge each time, so that you cannot predict where the kid will be coming in from and will have to move at least a little bit to get to the kid. I bet some will be smart enough to dodge you for a few seconds, costing you time and energy. Would you revise your predictions then?
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The beatings shall continue until morale improves! (Unknown; Attributed to Captain Bligh of HMS Bounty)

We are being buried beneath an avalanche of your inadequacies! (High Chancellor Adam Sutler, V for Vendetta)

Some say the world will end in fire,
some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire,
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if I had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate,
to say that for destruction ice
is also great,
and would suffice.
(Robert Frost, "Fire and Ice.")

Last edited by ExcaliburPrime1; 05-13-2011 at 05:48 AM.
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Old 05-13-2011, 05:51 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: How many 9-year olds could you beat up?

That would be an okay estimate I guess....? Why do I have to toss him? Can't I just break his face and then let hi sit there on the floor in a puddle of piss? If I'm given a ten second rest in between opponents, I could knee/kick/punch/elbow hard enough to knock them out (at least) all day long.


Thats your average 9 year old. That wouldn't even be a fight.



The perfect test for this would be to set a timer for 10 second intervals. Get one of those Bob punching bags. Every ten seconds, hit it hard enough that it wobbles. Do that until you can't.
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Old 05-13-2011, 05:54 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: How many 9-year olds could you beat up?

The tossing was I guess a way to simulate the new condition I added with the edit - namely that the kids would be streaming in from a randomly generated entrance every ten seconds. You would lose a little bit of energy running up to them, especially if they are being smart and actively trying to dodge you, in the hopes of getting more kids to stream in faster than you can knock them out.
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The beatings shall continue until morale improves! (Unknown; Attributed to Captain Bligh of HMS Bounty)

We are being buried beneath an avalanche of your inadequacies! (High Chancellor Adam Sutler, V for Vendetta)

Some say the world will end in fire,
some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire,
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if I had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate,
to say that for destruction ice
is also great,
and would suffice.
(Robert Frost, "Fire and Ice.")
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Old 05-13-2011, 05:54 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: How many 9-year olds could you beat up?

easy i just run round smackin lil bastards till im tired.

then i stand in a corner and just wait, no 9 year old would be dumb enough to run up on me solo, so they would wait till their was like 15 of em then i would just go to town, 9 year olds arent gonna co-ordinate themselves too well, besides its very difficult to actually fight v one person without getting in each others way, if im in a corner id say a max of 3 can be hitting me at once, only nut, eye and throat shots will deal much damage, so i figure id just be layin lil kids out everywhere, eventually their unconscious bodies will create a natural barrier for me =D.

a dummy wouldnt work btw, big difference between live and dead weight
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So, let us be alert—alert in a twofold sense: Since
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since Hiroshima we know what is at stake." - Viktor E. Frankl
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How many 9-year olds could you beat up?

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